May Debate - Marriage and Reality TV

[Aled]

In this month's debate show...

(very appropriately for the forum!) Is Marriage still relevant? Why do we do it? Do we NEED to do it? Will you do it?

and

Has reality TV gone too far? With Big Brother on it's 10th series and everyone viewing this year's Britain's Got Talent as a freakshow who can create global stars overnight is this really something we want to see? If so why?

Sunday at 10 on Radio 1

x

[Mitchell]

Depends on individual opinion, history and context. Some of us don't. Some of us do. Probably not but haven't gotten that far ahead yet. Yes it has. Not me personally but the audience still exists. Because I prefer less mindless entertainment and others can deal with it.

[Yudster]

Marriage is totally personal, how can you have a meaningful debate on something which can only ever be subjective to the individual? At best you could have an exchange and sharing of perspective and views, at worst a silly argument, but neither of those is a debate.

Reality TV could provide a better platform for debate because there are responses and effects caused by it which can be objectively considered. My take on it would be that the biggest problem "reality" shows cause is that people actually think that they have something to do with reality, and a growing number of people are living their lives as though they are in a soap opera as a result.

[Andrew80]

Personally I love a good wedding :) and I love the idea that I could publically share my commitment of love to another human being (chance will be a fine thing), however I dont think its an outdated institution or anything. I think it is important to have the option regardless of orientation etc.

Reality TV, sorry I still love it. How is Britains got talent vastly different from the days of Opportunity Knocks (i have seen it on UK gold Im not that old), the variety talent show has been around for years, however it has developed and there has always been the freak in people, they just have an outlet now.

As for Big Brother, I will no doubt be watching again...... sorry!

[postie]

would never marry i don't believe in it

reality TV is getting boring now some should of been axed a long time ago like BGT and X factor

[Console]

Maybe it 'should' have been axed a long time ago because it's lowest-common denominator T.V. and it's essentially a modern-day freak show ("Simple people, simple tastes"), but you can't argue with the audience figures - a lot of people tune in to watch all of that trash every night of every week.

As for marriage, well, there's still the legal/tax benefits that come with marriage, but it is a largely pointless ritual (like all rituals) - they're done for the spectacle, for the sense of occasion, and because it's a big gesture of love (also arguably an out-dated concept).

[Chongster]

because it's a big gesture of love (also arguably an out-dated concept).

Are you saying you think that Love is an out-dated concept? Could you elaborate a bit more on why you think that? I'm just curious is all.

[Console]

I'm not sure if I would say that love is totally out-dated, but certain aspects of it are certainly ridiculous. For example, the way some people see Love as a sort of cosmic force and that the ultimate goal of life is to find the one person in the whole world with which to share that force with.

The idea of love as a binding force to keep people together still has merits. Anthropologically speaking, love evolved to keep the parents together in order to provide security and stability for their offspring, as well as being around to teach and passed on learnt traits. Love in that respect is almost vital for the survival of the species as we know it. Although, saying that I'm fairly certain that if we all put our heads together then a different, better solution would be found.

It's largely the 'fantastic' nature of Love that I might consider out-dated, and, actually, marriage is a big part of that fantastic-ness. Love, as an emotion, is a very powerful one, but often also a very fleeting one (isn't the divorce rate something ridiculous in the region of 20%-30%, and rising?) and there is a lot of unnecessary fluff around it that does seem terribly out-dated. Still, we humans have many other pointless and unnecessary rituals and pieces of fluff, some of which are more out-dated and bizarre than those surrounding Love - I hesitate to name any for fear of starting an altogether different debate - so Love isn't really that big of an issue, especially considering some of the benefits it brings.

[Andrew80]

I believe in Love, I understand what you are saying however I do like the romance.... well the idea of it :)

[Chongster]

I'm not sure if I would say that love is totally out-dated, but certain aspects of it are certainly ridiculous. For example, the way some people see Love as a sort of cosmic force and that the ultimate goal of life is to find the one person in the whole world with which to share that force with.

The idea of love as a binding force to keep people together still has merits. Anthropologically speaking, love evolved to keep the parents together in order to provide security and stability for their offspring, as well as being around to teach and passed on learnt traits. Love in that respect is almost vital for the survival of the species as we know it. Although, saying that I'm fairly certain that if we all put our heads together then a different, better solution would be found.

It's largely the 'fantastic' nature of Love that I might consider out-dated, and, actually, marriage is a big part of that fantastic-ness. Love, as an emotion, is a very powerful one, but often also a very fleeting one (isn't the divorce rate something ridiculous in the region of 20%-30%, and rising?) and there is a lot of unnecessary fluff around it that does seem terribly out-dated. Still, we humans have many other pointless and unnecessary rituals and pieces of fluff, some of which are more out-dated and bizarre than those surrounding Love - I hesitate to name any for fear of starting an altogether different debate - so Love isn't really that big of an issue, especially considering some of the benefits it brings.

OK, I get you. Especially about love being a very powerful emotion, if fleeting. Just turn on Jeremy Kyle and you can see that 'love' in todays world is warped beyond all reason (not for everyone obviously... but for the disasters that go on that show...) I believe love is relative, statistics mean nothing to the individual.

My views on love and marriage though are pretty lax to be fair. Marriage is fine, I enjoy going to weddings and seeing people announce their love so publically. there's just something about it. Gay or Straight. And whether the notion can be percieved as just a ridiculous fairytale, I do like to think that there is someone out there for each of us! (Even if we do have the internet to find them nowerdays, it's how I found my partner!)

[Yudster]

OK,Just turn on Jeremy Kyle and you can see that 'love' in todays world is warped beyond all reason (not for everyone obviously... but for the disasters that go on that show...)
I fully understand that there is no universal means of defining "love", but you have to admit that the kind of scenarios seen on shows of that type have nothing to do with any realistic form of "love".

It is interesting to compare personal views of "love" though. For me, whilst the fluffy pink fluttery stage of it is lovely, that's romance, not love (and thankfully can be brought back when the need arises!). Love for me is far more to do with trust, honesty and above all respect. Once one partner loses respect for the other there is no way back in my experience and observation.

Its very personal though, there isn't any universal formula for it.

[s4b]

Marriage - I wouldn't do it again.

Reality TV annoys me now more than anything else. I don't watch BB anymore (haven't since the second series) I think it has reached the end of every road and there is little more that can be done without crossing the boundaries of decency!

[Ajayrious]

Well my opinion on marriage has always been tarnished by the fact that i hate public speaking, and would detest having to stand up in front of a room full of people to proclaim my love for someone.

As for Reality TV, as Andrew80 rightly says, Reality TV has been around since the first utterings of TV. Talent shows, Freak Shows etc have been around since long before TV. I dont think they are outdated at all.

Having said that, i do think that the current way that these shows are produced is wrong and fake as you could get. In fact they are pretty much anti-reality tv at this point. And there certainley are alot more Reality shows than ever before.

I long for the days when Big Brother returns to being 10 people in a house and stops adding stupid twists and extra housemates whenever they feel like it. However that wont stop me watching BB, At least not the first week or so anyway.

[postie]

love is overrated

[Yudster]

I think its unrealistic expectations of people which often tend to lead to that opinion. As long as people think that love = happiness then there will be disappointment and the feeling that love isn't so great as everyone thinks. While our culture continues to develop its ideas about what love is from TV, films and magazines then that will continue.

I'm generalising of course, I'm not in any way trying to imply that postie is wrong to hold that opinion from his personal experience (which obviously I'm not familar with).

[Console]

I think its unrealistic expectations of people which often tend to lead to that opinion.

Being pretty much the definition of 'over-rated' I, too, would expect that to be the case.

[Yudster]

I don't agree with your definition. "Over -rated" is a quantitative judgement, realism or otherwise of expectation is a qualitative one. The qualitative judgement in this case can lead to the quantitive assesment, but it isn't the same thing.

[Console]

While I would agree that, when used formally, the term 'over-rate' should only be applied to a quantitative subject, informally it can be, and is very commonly, used in qualitative situations - including the situation we were talking about, Postie's post.

[Aled]

I wish we couldhave stuck this conversation on the radio tonight! It's brilliant!

[Andrew80]

The joys of live radio and having people involved.. lol

[sinister]

love is overrated

Love is a release of chemicals in the brain to make you procreate and prolong the existence of the species. Of course that feeling doesn't last, and the initial lusty shag at the drop of a hat will trail off too.

Are humans meant to be monogamous? Or are we designed like so many other species to just selfishly spread our genes as far as possible with as many partners that seem suitable? (not taking into account the aforementioned activity by chavs to get benefits & housing)

[Console]

Are humans meant to be monogamous? Or are we designed like so many other species to just selfishly spread our genes as far as possible with as many partners that seem suitable?

That'd be 'no' and 'mu'.

[Yudster]

Love is a release of chemicals in the brain to make you procreate and prolong the existence of the species.
See I think that's exactly what love ISN'T. What you describe there is the instinctive procreation response presumably experienced by all successful species. The point is though that people are fundamentally different from all other animals, and the ability to "love" as opposed to merely procreate is one of those many differences.

As we move into an era of increased random procreation rather than committed family relationships all the available evidence suggests that if, as a species, we want to be successful, the random model is absolutely not the way to go. The progeny produced by these opportunistic liaisons are statistically (not talking about any individuals) the least productive and successful group, the least intelligent and the least healthy.

The assumption that because we are animals then we are the same as all the other animals is deeply flawed.

[sinister]

But we are animals, take us apart and all the parts are more or less the same. We mainly have the same pumps and filters inside, the same control systems and chemicals. We even taste like pigs if eaten. Have you ever had the misfortune of smelling a severely burnt person? Bacon, we smell like bacon.

I do question your view of "progeny produced by these opportunistic liaisons" and would welcome some more input as to where you get your statistics from.

[Console]

The point is though that people are fundamentally different from all other animals

How are we fundamentally different? We're superficially different in terms of emotion, communication and level of intelligence, but in what way(s) are we fundamentally different?

[bbb]

well marrige civil uinions or w/e you want to call them are all dwon to the people wanting to do it

before the contry took over and in the time of pagans anyone could marry those they love it was called handfasting then and again its just really showing your comiment to each other and showing it to others tho now a days it comes with a bit of paper that gives your other half and yourself more rights if one of you dies the other can get your money or what ever

im doing it because i love nate and want to show him and my faimly how much i love him and how much he loves me

oh had haveing read your coment in my blog aled im sorry that they assumned it was you who getting/got married thats mistake is quite amuseing tho sorry if you had a lot of explaing to do to people worndering if it was ture *hugs* and many blessings of love and light to all

[s4b]

I wish we couldhave stuck this conversation on the radio tonight! It's brilliant!

So next time read your own forum before you go on air ;)

We're nothing if not real! xx

[postie]

i would happily have an open air debate

[sinister]

I prefer a mass debate, now I'm not sure if that's a debate on what the catholic flavour of god botherer gets up to on a Sunday, or a lot of people debating.

[postie]

I see what you did there lol ;)