Bullyproof

[Ajayrious]

I've moaned about several things on here recently, so i apologise if this seems like another rant.

However whilst i think this campaign is a good idea the adverts are really annoying me at the moment.

As someone who was bullied at school and has struggled with self confidence throughout my entire life i find Alexandra Burke telling me i should be myself, and Cheryl Cole telling me not to let people bully me, the most unhelpful pieces of advice i've ever heard.

I know everyone gets bullied at some stage in their life, but someone like Cheryl Cole, who has everything going for her at the moment is the last person I'd want to hear from. I can't identity with her, and I certainly wouldn't expect her to be able to identify with me. Someone like Nicola however who has got a lot of stick, not least from Mr Moyles would have been a much better choice.

In saying that was one with Alesha Dixon on today, and she has got a lot of stick recently, but i still thought what she said was absolute rubbish. It just sounds like the same old advice that teachers give you, that you end up ignoring because it never helps.

[Mitchell]

I wrote on Unofficial Mills last week about this. Rather than reword for few new readers, I'll just quote:

Just watching some of those celebrity videos. They really shouldn't have bothered. It's just the same message we all already know anyway, and Cheryl might as well have just mumbled "nuuurrrrrrrr nurr nuurrrrrrrr nuurrrrrr" into the camera for all the interest she had in what she was saying. She really couldn't give a f*ck about your confidence or whether you're bullied or not.

[Yudster]

Completely agree. And whilst I have every enthusiasm for people learning to accept themselves, behave with confidence and be positive in their daily lives, the idea that this will solve the problem of bullying is ridiculous. Mainly because bullying is not the victim's fault so how can the solution possibly be within the victim's influence?

Yes, you can put yourself in a position where you may be less likely to be affected by bullying by altering your behaviour somewhat, but this approach is far too close to blaming the victim for the actions of the perpetrator for my liking.

[Mitchell]

As someone who was bullied at school and has struggled with self confidence throughout my entire life i find Alexandra Burke telling me i should be myself, and Cheryl Cole telling me not to let people bully me, the most unhelpful pieces of advice i've ever heard.

I know everyone gets bullied at some stage in their life, but someone like Cheryl Cole, who has everything going for her at the moment is the last person I'd want to hear from. I can't identity with her, and I certainly wouldn't expect her to be able to identify with me. Someone like Nicola however who has got a lot of stick, not least from Mr Moyles would have been a much better choice.

Even worse, the last person that should ever be fronting this campaign is Dappy, considering he's the prick who tried to bully a friend of mine after a gig in Glasgow this year. Apparently, bullying is bad unless you see someone taking a picture of a police van on their phone whilst a member of your entourage is being arrested for sexual harrassment; at that point, bullying is fair game.

[Yudster]

I think there's a difference between bullying as highlighted in this campaign and one off specific intimidation and/or assault. But I too find it hard to believe that all the "celebs" who crawl out of the D list woodwork to support campaigns like these have the faintest clue what they are talking about - and statistically some of them are (or were) probably unapologetic bullies themselves. But that's just one of the concerns I would have with this campaign. I'm finding it far from compelling so far I must say.

[Mitchell]

There is a difference, sure. But a) it's not the first time that N Dubz have been in trouble, since they seem to be in the news a lot, particularly for members of their entourage sexually assaulting people, and b) as you say, it's fairly rich for celebrities who probably were never bullied and probably bullies themselves (still bullying as we speak, maybe) to front a campaign that, let's face it, has been a complete waste of time and effort. I watched that video which was given its own countdown, and it was shit. Really ****ing shit. It was a remake of "Sunscreen" and when I had finished watching it, I actually felt angry that I had watched this mutual wanking session which underlined exactly nothing and inspired exactly no one.

It always reminds me of the old Brass Eye episodes where Chris Morris would make up charities and causes and dupe clueless celebrities into fronting them. To this day, I wish Morris would return and do more of it.

[sinister]

I haven't had a fix of cake for a long while.

On the bullying front, my last job, looking back now my boss bullied me into taking redundancy by making it as difficult as possible for me to perform my job properly. At the time I couldn't see it. Things were that bad I was actually having thoughts of physically harming him, which is when I realised it was time to get out.

[BabyB]

to a certain extent I agree and disagree - yes I agree you need self confidence etc - but people can tell you that till they're blue in the face but if you're scared out your skin of standing up for yourself then people can say what they want, it wont help the situation any. people have always said bullies are unhappy about some aspect of themselves, but when you're being bullied that really doesn't make you feel any better.

I am now 27 and I'm only just now getting the confidence to stand up for myself (which was mainly brought about through my work where i was bullied to the extent that false allegations were made about me and i was facing disciplinary action!)- oddly enough standing up for others has never been a problem - i will fight tooth and nail for someone else but my confidence is still so lacking when it comes to myself, and I got bullied over really silly petty things...

even now, though I am told I outwardly appear very confident, inside I am shaking like a leaf and absolutely dread being in any kinda of unstructured situation where there is any sort of confrontation and actually do my best to avoid it- to the extent where i do my best to avoid answering the phone, the door, going to the shops etc ... my confidence was knocked so badly when i was bullied i very much doubt i'll ever get it all back.

I tried to overdose when I was about 14 or 15, to be honest I couldn't even tell you specifically what it was about... but all the little things have a way of wearing your down.

it's quite ironic how it all turns about, now as a student I am doing research into the long term affects of overdosing on physical health in order to support those who have been in similar situations.

I just hope at the very least Bullyproof lets people know they're not alone and that there is help out there... but there will always be bullies... and the effects of bullying do last a lifetime...

[Yudster]

it's quite ironic how it all turns about, now as a student I am doing research into the long term affects of overdosing on physical health in order to support those who have been in similar situations.

That's brilliant, hope it all goes really well.

[BabyB]

thanks,

as you can imagine, bullying is a big issue in the learning disability sector, especially for those with a mild disability who live in the community or children with a learning disability in main stream schools, and to think that those of us who do not have a disability struggle to cope with it, how much worse it is for someone with a learning disability.... I'm not expecting to make world changing differences, but if I can even get 1 person to think again before reaching for that pack of pills...

[Andrew80]

I am now 27 and I'm only just now getting the confidence to stand up for myself - oddly enough standing up for others has never been a problem - i will fight tooth and nail for someone else but my confidence is still so lacking when it comes to myself, and I got bullied over really silly petty things...

..

ditto

[Samual]

Totally agreed.

I just had a very surreal moment. Just walked onto the game Habbo and to my shock saw Aled talking to people about bullying. I had no idea you guys were involved with that game? Anyway, it was very weird because i myself had a fairly serious bullying problem on there and the company and staff were thoroughly unhelpful. The problem was only resolved once my MP got involved. Funny huh? No? Ok.

[BabyB]

Samual, I had a similar thing on a well known parenting site, to the extent where they were hacking into my e-mail accounts etc, we eventually needed to get the police involved - the site moderators were completely unhelpful and totally ignored my e-mails.

I left that site and joined a different one, the person followed me and started posting up cr*p about me on the message boards - thankfully someone who i had become good friends with who had joined me on the new site was able to back me up, along with copies of the e-mails the person had been sending me... the moderators on the new site were really good and really helpful in getting the issue sorted

it was a really upsetting time for me, i was almost scared to turn on my computer for the fear of seeing what this person had done next...

and all it was over was that this person had announced that she didn't want to do the board stats anymore and I said I would do it... and she felt I announced too quickly and was "jumping in her grave" :confused:

[Samual]

Ah similar things were happening to me. It vexed me greatly seeing this company put on a visage of being tough on bullying and wanting to educate its users. But when it came down to it the staff and moderators (who were hired and trained to deal with these things) did absolutely nothing to help me.

I half wish i rung in and pointed this out, but i was tired. C'est la vie.